A man of constant sorrow

A man of constant sorrow

Following the journey of Bojack Horseman, an anthropomorphic stallion, the animated tragicomedy of the same title paints a resonating story with splashes of desolation, strokes of misery and shades of dark humor. Pun intended. Formerly the star of a 90's sitcom, Bojack's irrelevancy in today's ever-changing society leaves him reeking of desperation and distress, leading to a series of devastating decisions that destroys everyone in its path as he tries to claw his way out of his own pit of self-indulgence and despair.

It is a cinematic masterpiece and one Netflix's best original work #notsponsored #netflixsponsormepls.

And while we wait for the streaming service to get back to me, let us discuss a prominent theme from the show - depression. A vile, repulsive creature that feasts on every morsel of insecurity and vulnerability to fuel its endless famine for emotional bloodshed. It actively seeks those drunk with agony, blinding newfound victims with rage and denial till they get swallowed by a bottomless hole dug by their own negativism. Alas, an immortal entity set on spiritual discord. One that never tires. One that never fades. 

And yet, despite its terrifying presence, we are all drawn to its intoxicating embrace. Like a moth to a flame, humans dance dizzily around negative emotions and morbid thoughts, spiraling down and ultimately residing in the comforting glow of extreme sadness. But with that said, are we weak by design? Perhaps our minds are only capable to endure so much unhappiness before succumbing to the sweet sadness of misery. Surely to lead a positive life one must be ecstatic all the time. 

And there in lies the bliss of ignorance. It is beautiful. The paradoxical nature of duality. The endless confliction, a constant battle indispensable to the very essence of existence. It entwines and influences the very fabric of reality, affecting abstract concepts of human morality, the natural environment and even Oreo cookies. Truly magnificent.  

"There cannot be peace without first, a great suffering. The greater the suffering, the greater the peace."

As a teenager, I've too had my fair share of personal issues that have, collectively, riddled me burdened with great emotional turmoil. I have been haunted by an endless manifestation of morbid thoughts and have had my self-esteem crippled before, not to mention the agonizing experiences of heartbreak, failure and loss which has since inflicted me with sleep paralysis demons and seemingly endless insomnia. But I digress. 

There is something...hypocritical about tackling mental disorders. For example, I discourage others from bottling up their feelings and instead, welcome them to discuss their issues with me to gain a second perspective before drawing any definite conclusions. And yet, when it is my turn to be plagued with distress I find myself rather unwilling to divulge my sorrow, either sharing but a fraction of my tale or diverting the conversation entirely. 

People lament that such behavior is unfair, and that being vulnerable is a mutual relationship both parties should abide to. And although this argument stands credible, I do not observe it. Personally, I choose not to talk about my problems not because I am afraid of laying waste to the emotional well-being of others, a frankly illogical justification most teens live by, but because I am not looking for resolution and ergo, not seeking a solution. I am content with who I am, and the decisions I have made even if they do cause immense pain. As such, I enjoy investing my time towards heling others in need and making a positive impact in their lives rather than trying to fix me.  

So, for any of my friends reading this...please respect my decision 👉👈😬

But again, I digress.  

Kintsgui (also known as kintsukuroi) is the Japanese art of putting damaged pottery pieces back together using gold - a practice built on the idea of embracing one's flaws and imperfections to ultimately create a more magnificent piece of art, and a metaphor to embrace and accept oneself. To err is human, and no one in this world is broken. Desolation of your mental well-being is unavoidable, but it is how we choose to let such negativity dictate our path that is important. 

Occasional sadness can in fact be healthy, but it should never come in between friendships, relationships and your physical well-being. Self-harm does not allow you to chisel your ideal appearance, and alcohol causes you to forget the question and not find the answer. Drain the bottle of isolated emotions and fill the night with tears and cries. Take a leap and be vulnerable to your closest friends. It will be terrifying, but for change to commence one has to be willing to take risks and initiate it. 

On the flip side, it can be difficult for some to console others suffering from such overwhelming issues . Either we lack a direct understanding of their situation, or are simply at a loss of words when placed in such scenarios and end up scrambling, tying to fish out appropriate vocabulary to form sympathetic sentences while the other party waits impatiently for compassion. It can be a lot of pressure, but from experience a listening ear may be all what someone needs, and will be eternally grateful for. 

Then again, evaluate your own happiness before committing to any decisions, for it is all that matters. And do take what I say with a heap of salt. After all, human behavior is such a complex subject, and I am but a man attempting to unravel its mysteries.

A man of constant sorrow, all through my day.

- Molly